What? You gotta problem with my baby?

Halloween-isms

The average Halloween cemetery is chuck full of headstones. Headstones with all kinds of crazy names on them. If you're a real funny guy, your headstone might be labeled something like "Barry Dalive", "Liza Lott", "Ben Dismembered, May he Rest in Pieces", or my personal favorite "Ima Goner". But quite possibly the most classic headstone of all time- R.I.P. Because hello, everyone dead person should most definitely rest in peace, right?

Wrong.

Tonight my kids whipped up some fancy haunted Halloween pictures.

Taylor brought his over first to show me his creepy cemetery with zombies walking around holding pitchforks dripping in blood. CREEPY! I mean, really creepy. Until you look around and notice all the headstones are labeled CTR! Well now if that doesn't just change things around, making me feel all warm and fuzzy in his haunted cemetery.

So I asked him to tell me about his picture. (This is the point where he explained the whole zombie/pitchfork/blood thing). He didn't mention the headstones so I asked him about those.

Me: So what are those things? (pointing at the headstones)

Taylor: You know, they mark the graves, and say CTR on them.

Me: And by CTR you mean R.I.P., which stands for Rest In Peace???

Taylor: Ooooooh. Yeah... (with a big smile on his face)

Ya learn something new every day, dontcha?

And then Sara showed me her picture. Seems she and Taylor were both visiting the same cemetery. Gotta have a righteous crowd down there at the cemetery come Halloween. Maybe they can hand out Books of Mormon to all those spirits too.

And Livvy, well, she drew a witch.

I surrender

If you know me you might have figured out by now that I have a strong disinterest in owning pets. Every animal on the planet gives me the heebie geebies. I get all itchy and creepy crawly at the thought of just about any animal. I know. I sound like a hater. I'm not. Just an allergic person who dislikes the feel of squishy animal bodies. And also dislikes poop on my lawn. And hair on my clothes. Okay, I am digging myself into a hole and sounding like a hater. I will stop.

Despite my less-than-loving feelings for the pet population, the 4-legged creatures of the earth somehow make their way here. To my house. Not to people who love and embrace animals. Here. To. My. House. Let me remind you once again- I don't touch animals. Just looking at them freaks me out.

Especially our newest orphan.

Friday morning Dave and I had just plopped ourselves down on the couch to watch "The Office" when Taylor came running into the house yelling "Mom! Dad! Come quick! I found a lizard!" So of course we ignored him because that would be ridiculous. Lizards don't just roam around here. This isn't Arizona.

A minute later he was back in the house yelling the same thing so Dave went to check things out.

I waited. And waited. No Dave. Hmmm...

I stepped outside and sure enough people- Dave and the kids were hovering over a lizard.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? (I seem to be saying this a lot lately)

What is going on here? If this keeps up, I'm going to be in violation of our HOA rules and fined for running a pet shop.

It seems that not one of these animals that I am disinterested in has gotten the memo that I AM NOT INTERESTED. Instead they seem to think the welcome mat in front of my door is speaking directly to them. Why would I say this? Well, need I remind you of the cat incident? That was charming. My next door neighbor who removed that monkey from off my back never hesitates to thank me for donating that kitty to their family, especially after it drops mice and bird guts in her front door way.

Look how brave Dave is...

I was slightly petrified of this thing after Dave caught him so #1- he wasn't allowed in the house and #2- when I took pictures I stood way back and held the camera out, hoping my aim was good and would capture a picture of this bad boy.

And looky looky- Taylor's pet for a day:

Olivia, unlike her mother, is afraid of nothing...

And my newborn Spenny with his saggy diaper was holding it too!

I guess you might be wondering what we did with Taylor's "pet-for-a-day". Let me just say this- our next door neighbors might just move away if we find one more animal.

That said, my kids are in heaven- they can go visit "Spiky" whenever they want.